The voices arrive.
The doctor examining me awoke me. He told me they had gotten a sample of the semen and had taken “preventative cautions” to prevent me from getting pregnant. I had three broken ribs, a sprung elbow, and several bruises. He thought 5 days of bed rest would help a great deal. The ribs would still be tender but I could move around better then as long as I gave them time to set and start healing. They moved me to my room, and I asked for my backpack. I was given some counseling about my rape. I listened to what the doctor had to say, but it just did not matter to me, I wanted those men dead.
I started drawing all my waking hours, in just four days I had used the 200 sheets of paper I had up. A nurse found 30 sheets of paper from a laser printer for me. I realized that my novel was gone. I had not made a backup copy of it, or even sent any copies of it over the Internet. I should have at least e-mailed it to myself. I started hearing something in the back of my head. It was a small voice; I think maybe it was the serial killer I had been writing about before my laptop was stolen. On the remaining papers I had left, I started to write down the weapons the voice was saying. The list grew very quickly. I started to categorize them; over used / common, special abilities required, interesting, unique, silly, and tortuous / cruel.
After the list was filled with everything possible, the voice began talking about way I could hunt down and hurt the men that raped me. I wish I was able to imagine the serial killer so well while I was writing the book would have been so much easier to write. I dozed off listening to various tortures the men could enjoy.
The next morning, I called my credit card company and saw what the balance was left. The police must have cancelled my old credit card quick enough that the men were not able to get any money off of it. I had the rest of my savings account deposited into the credit card so I would have easy access to it with out having to carry any cash. All of my balance was there. I also had $200 hidden in my clothes, and got another $500 at an ATM in the hospital. The rapists had gotten a little over $600 cash from my wallet, but at least they had not gotten everything. I called my insurance company to make sure they were going to cover all the medical bills; they said that they did not see a problem with my case.
I called the police department and talked with the detective that had helped me. He said they had not yet caught the men, but they did have a lead since they tried to use my credit card after it was cancelled. He promised to call me as soon as there were any developments. He also asked how I was doing and if I needed anything. I asked about my bike, and he said it was at the hospital so I could use it as soon as I was able to. I then heard another voice, but I realized this was the detective from the novel I had been working on. The voice said he didn’t think the men would be found any time soon since there had been no similar rapes in the area and unless they tried something like this again, the material evidence would not lead us anywhere. I thanked him for all his kindness and hung up. I shook my head; these characters can get a little annoying when I’m trying to talk with other people.
The doctor kept me in the hospital for a full 7 days. My ribs were not healing as fast as they should have so I needed to stay off them that extra time so as not to hurt the bones mending. During this time other characters started to talk with me. They would tell me either how to catch the men that had raped me or what else I should be doing to forget what had been done to me. The doctor wrapped my ribs up nice and tight before I left and gave me some extra bandages so I could change them if needed. He also gave me some mild painkillers incase the pain got any worse. I was wheeled down to where they had my bike parked. I needed a little help climbing onto the bike, but after I was in the seat, I was much more comfortable.
The serial killer personality forced me to drive to the park where the attack occurred. I drove around for over an hour looking at the various campers, grounds workers, and then even a few of the local neighborhoods around the park without seeing any of the men I wanted.
I then listened to the heroine from my story and drove away from town until I found an interstate road. I took the northbound lane. I really wanted out of this state as fast as I could. I drove all afternoon and into evening. I finally started feeling my ribs tell me it was time to lay down and relax. I picked a nice motel that had a restaurant so I would not have to leave for supper. I checked in and went to my room. I ordered supper and ate it while watching TV. I could not get into any of the shows on the TV; voices kept surfacing and wanting to talk, advise, or simply shout whatever they wanted to say and then fall back below the surface once again. I dozed off during this and slept thru most of the night.
Room service woke me early in the morning asking if I needed anything. I ordered a small breakfast and started going thru my backpack. I decided I did not need most of it. I do not think I can go into the parks any more. I will just try to stay in cheap motel and make my way back home and see if my old job still needs me. The serial killer’s voice was back, he wanted me to look at my drawings I had done at the hospital. I started looking thru my drawing, and I really think I was getting good. I then ran across my deadly weapons list. The serial killer said the list was far too big, so I started a new list on a new piece of paper; weapons that would fit in my now empty backpack. I changed a few items; piano strings might be hard to get so I substituted guitar strings. I figured I could fit 30 separate items in my backpack that would seem mostly harmless at first glance, no obvious weapons like guns or large hunting knives.
The serial killer wanted to go shopping, so I drove to a couple of local stores. Spending most of the cash I had left, I bought a few of the items on my paper. At a sports store they were carrying collapsible crossbow. Although this was never on my list, I could see a lot of potential in this weapon. I bought this and 6 bolts for it. I also asked about local deer hunting laws, just incase the weapon was a little weird for some one to buy. I went back to the motel and unwrapped my new toys. I tried various ways of packing them to make the least noise and be comfortable to wear. The detective in my head asked if these made me feel more protected. They do, I feel much safer.
The next day I checked out of the motel and started driving northeast. I stopped at most towns along the interstate buying one to two items. I found infrared binoculars in a pawnshop that could also see in the ultra violet spectrum, and I found a .22 caliber key chain and picked up 6. So I broke my no gun rule, this on was so concealable that it might come in handy. By nightfall, I had enough bags in my saddlebags to finish filling my backpack. I checked into another motel. The heroine voice jumped forward and told me I should get some excersize so my ribs would heal right. The area around the motel was rather wooded so I tried to go hiking a little. My ribs were still hurting some, but a pill later they were not bothering me too bad.
I am not really sure why I brought the back pack along. The backpack was a little heavy but I was glad I brought it. I could hear a couple enjoying the warm summer night. I pulled out the night vision and set the amplification as low as it would go. They worked well, I could not make out a lot of the scenery, it must have been set on infrared and all the foliage was the same temperature, but I could see where the couple was. I tried to change viewing modes but apparently had not studied their location and settings enough. After a few minutes, I got it adjusted to ultraviolet. One of the voices whispered I should get closer and see what is really going on. I used the night vision to walk carefully forward and get closer to the couple.
I could hear the couple’s fevering pitch rising near my hiding spot. I started to have flash backs to the night when I was raped in the park. I grew scared and a voice whispered I should protect myself, so I decided to take out my crossbow and a bolt. I knocked the bolt and wait. I started to sweat, but I realize these people aren’t the men who raped me. Was I really going to shoot these people? The whispering voice comes again and says I must stop these people from sex because that leads to violence and rape. The man’s grunts as he has sex with this woman decided the issue for me. I wanted to fire just one shot thru both skulls for the least amount of noise. The moon was just barely out, but it gave enough light that I could aim properly. The voices were all quietly telling me to take the shot. The couple was nearing their climaxes as a clear shot came into view. I loosed the arrow watched it slide thru both of them.
I sat in the new silence waiting to see if any others had heard me. After a few minutes, I realized I had taken out a Polaroid from my backpack and taken a few pictures. I don’t remember taking the camera out or taking the pictures, but the voices calm me down saying I need to savor this moment. The voices also tell me I must alter the bodies so the trail will be too convoluted for the law to catch me. I then withdrew a pocket knife and began cutting out random parts of the couple. I tossed the parts in several directions, and drew symbols over the bodies leaving this gruesome scene for any one to find. I took a few more pictures of the mutilated bodies. I then packed all my gear back up and walked back to my room.
The next morning my voices woke me up and told me it was time to go, I checked out, and best I could tell no one had found the missing couple yet. I drove most of the day down the interstate. I thought if I could get to a new state I could take some time and think about what I had done. At least the voices were quiet while I made my get away.
I stopped in a motel well off the beaten path. I hope to stay here a couple of days and decide if I should try to turn myself in. I still do not understand where all that hatred came from and why were the voices becoming so strong. I am not sure if I am still in control of my actions. Once I saw the couple and heard them, something deep down inside me wanted the voices to take over. Maybe I should go to a doctor here and talk again about what happened in the park. The same deep down feeling came up again, and I knew I could not talk with any one about this. The voices would not let me talk to any one about them or what I had done.
Posted by shannonwagoner
at 12:59 PM EDT
